In turn, this conditions us into even further dislike of that person, which just validates our negative feelings. In this way, our distaste for another person becomes like a snake eating its tail: we dislike them because they make us feel bad, and we feel bad because we dislike them.
They notice our rudeness toward them and often respond with rudeness, confirming our negative thoughts about that person. Since dislike is rooted in a fear of the unknown, perhaps understanding more about where our dislike comes from can help us overcome its influence on our behavior.
They need to make an active effort to realize that the way they are conducting their life is wrong and take steps to change it, but getting to that point can take a long time. They definitely have their problems too. They may have gotten lucky in whatever circumstances they have, but have a complicated personal life that they are quietly struggling with.
Do you have any preconceived notions about the person or people you hate that you can challenge? Anything that you assume to be true that needs to be better explored to determine whether or not it actually is true? The mind likes to fill in blanks where appropriate, so you may find that the perspective driving your hate may not be correct. However, forgiveness in this context is not for the benefit of the person that caused the harm. As you work to resolve the situation that caused and fueled your hatred, you will likely find it pop back up in your mind from time to time.
Each time it happens, you will need to forgive yourself and accept the situation for what it is again. Healing these kinds of wounds is a long journey, one that you are more than capable of making!
Hatred is an intense emotion that is often fueled by the ugliest experiences of humanity. It is not an easy thing to navigate and may be beyond the scope of self-help. Keeping to this emotion, only leaves destruction.
Julie and I teach from a wide collection of tools that will help you find peace and release anger. Often addressing deeper truths require outside assistance to gain new angles that resolve out the internal conflict a person is holding.
We teach you how to release judgments that hold you back and then flare up later in rage. We work with Taoist and shamanic tools that add in a grounded spiritual component to anger management.
Explore Yin Yang Paradise. Yin Yang Products. Buy on Amazon. Buy From Yin Yang Paradise. Dozens of Yin Yang Tapestries to Explore. I always hated my mother. She died few years ago and still hate her. She was the worst and only bully in my life. Treated me as the unwanted child, subconsciously she wished I did not exist. A year before she died she was love bombing me with hugs and kisses for the first time in my 30 years of life, I felt so disgusted.
I would always push her back because she just wanted to fill her emotional void. Her toxic personality has seeped into my life and not being able to release the emotion of hate is destroying … Read more ». Aloha Sofia. The reason why is because the answer is more complicated than what I can post here, and because what would be the right advice for you would be wrong for others.
I tailor the process for each person. I will say this: since hate is the opposite of love, most people hold to hate as a form of hidden love. To release the hate is to release the person. Many people secretly still love the person they hate.
So this contradiction … Read more ». We have just bought a house together and I am angry that he is lying and has damaged my trust in him. Yes, unresolved anger, unresolved frustration, unresolved relationships can lead to hate as a path to break apart the problems.
However, hate itself keeps you holding on to the very person causing the problems. Additionally, every situation is so unique in how to resolve and move on. Ask yourself how you can begin to resolve out and move along one step at a time. Often times the first step is a hidden step of getting stronger and preparation … Read more ». I feel a lot of anger and I have no idea how to make it go away. I feel hurt. I feel labeled and discarded.
I went there with my anger to seek to resolve my anger and I was just labeled and medicated. Now, I feel helpless to help myself. I feel he took away hope. Unfortunately, western culture over medicates people.
To love, is to be more, to be kind is to work with the essence of the situation. You can help yourself. I am not saying this is easy, and the first few steps tend not to work as well as we would want, as we often have to focus on smaller problems to make … Read more ».
Wishing you strength so one bad experience does not end your hope. Explore, why the label hurts you so much? There are many great books on resilience that could be a resource. Aloha Lori, I deleted much of your comment as being too personal for general sharing. The truth to focus upon is this: While your ex-husband is a terrible person, your hate towards him keeps you connected to that terrible person.
You have to fully release abusive people in your life to heal; otherwise, they will keep hurting you. Your connection to your ex-husband is poisoning you. The hate you describe and feel is only tearing you apart.
Some answers are: 1 letting go and getting further away to start a fully independent life, or 2 getting legal help to restrict … Read more ». Hi — I am a 62 year old, 30 years in psychotherapy and psychiatric care. I was physically and emotionally abused and neglected as a child. I have worked hard on forgiving my parents, but this has left me empty inside.
The hatred I felt for them fueled me to do many things that were important to me. Now I search but cannot find anything to do or care about. Your list is, well, pretty common sense.
0コメント