Take as much time as you need to heal and work through your feelings, and practice self-care in the ways that work for you. Maybe that involves talking it out with a therapist, or meditating, or sweating it out via a grueling gym sesh. You deserve to heal too. It might be tempting to vent about your bestie to your other friends, significant other, or even your parents, but resist the urge to trash talk her. It might feel good in the moment, but it can definitely make things uncomfortable should you eventually make up and become BFFs again.
Or worse — if she hears that you trashed her to someone else — that will only hurt her even more. As long as you let enough time pass to let yourself clearly assess the situation, you should figure out what the next steps are with your best friend, for better or worse. Unfortunately, this might mean ending the friendship for good, or it might mean setting certain boundaries to prevent the same fight from happening again.
That doesn't necessarily mean they're not your truest BFF. Sometimes, it's the little arguments that are over before you even know it that end up bringing you all the more closer. But why fight in the first place, might you ask? If they're your BFF, shouldn't you always be on cloud nine having the time of your life? Sure, but a true friendship needs to learn and grow on both ends.
A great friendship requires some tough love and growing pains. Like any other relationship you care about, it goes through its rough patches in order to improve. Here are seven reasons why you fight with your bestie more than anyone else.
The truth can hurt, but sometimes you really need to hear it. Your best friend feels comfortable enough confronting you on issues that most people would just bottle up and let them fester.
Your BFF can be brutally honest, but they wouldn't tell you something just to outwardly hurt you. They know in their heart that telling you is more important than any backlash they'll receive from dishing out the truth. It's just like a Band-Aid; you have to quickly rip it off, and you want your bestie to do that for you. Download Article Explore this Article methods.
Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Method 1. Identify which behaviors are causing a problem. Before you talk to your friend, make sure that you carefully think about what might be causing the problem.
Try to identify specific behaviors or situations that may be contributing to the issue. This will help prevent the conversation from becoming too emotional. For example, if one friend is too controlling, you can ask them to let you do things your own way.
If you often argue about what to do, you both might create a list of activities and take turns doing what is on each person's list. Ask your friend to sit down and talk. Find a neutral place where you and your best friend can talk without interruptions. You may feel the urge to defend yourself if you feel your best friend is misjudging the situation, but you can do that after you have let them speak. Apologize, if appropriate. If you're the one at fault, a genuine apology will go a long way toward making your friend feel better.
Make sure you are taking responsibility for hurting your friend by saying something like "I'm sorry I yelled, I know that hurts your feelings.
Make them laugh if things get tense. Sometimes, humor can be the perfect way to reduce tension. Go to source Making references to fun times in the past may be just the thing to get your friend smiling again during a tense moment.
Try to get your friend talking about a happy memory, or a time you felt especially close. Asking a question like "Remember when we went to the water park? There's a line between joking and making fun of someone. If your best friend is crying or in pain, laughter may help or it may not. Explain how fighting makes you feel while you're both calm.
When you fight with your best friend, emotions are high and words may fly fast. During a quiet moment sitting down together, you are much more likely to really hear each other and reach a place of understanding. Take turns talking, and avoid interrupting when it's their turn to talk. Studies show your talk will be more productive if you use "I statements" such as: "I feel scared when you yell at me during arguments" or "I feel anxious when you give me the silent treatment after a fight.
Ask about what you can change. Whether it's you or your friend that needs to change a particular behavior, talking about it is the best way to work through your trouble. You can make suggestions to each other of ways you would like to be spoken to, or tell each other about specific times when a misunderstanding got out of control. These changes should be specific and actionable. For example, instead of saying your friend needs to nicer to you, you might ask your friend to ask you about your feelings more often.
Method 2. Make an agreement. Once you've talked to your best friend, it's important to actually implement the changes that the two of you talked about if you want the dynamic to change.
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